c o m p a s s i o n a t e counseling

Love after Love — By Derek Walcott

The time will come

when, with elation,

you will greet yourself arriving

at your own door, in your own mirror

and each will smile at the other’s welcome,

and say, sit here. Eat.

You will love again the stranger who was your self.

Give wine. Give bread, Give back your heart

to itself, to the stranger who has loved you

all your life, whom you ignored

for another, who knows you by heart.

Take down the love letters from the bookshelf

the photographs, the desperate notes,

peel your own image from the mirror.

Sit. Feast on your life.

Do not say i have borderline. Say I was caused great harm when a child ad no im training to rise above. Not trying. Training.

This feels so much stronger than identity with an objectifying diagnose.

"I have borderline so what will YOU do about about Mrs therapist".

We are born whole and shred to pieces actively whether its often and small or one bigtimer. 

We cannot heal trauma without simne who cheers us n, simply because we will arrive at that certain point where the ego doesn't want to surrender, simply cos safety is ingrained into our being. 

We are dealing with the unaware part of our brain that's in charge of the fight flight.

Old teaching, ALL teachings will fail at some point.  

Faith will not because faith will never rush, and nooit aan depoten van je stoel zagen. Faith will bring forth hope wich creates perseverence and change. Slowly we grow into a more healed state.

Neglect is a very true and always in your face. It's what normal life looks like.  We donnt even know what love feels lik, be relaxed, be joyous wirh oneanother, who have your back, to feel safe  

My clients predominantly include women, whether they are child-free or the heads of their families, who are seemingly being pushed into a feeling kind of response and therefor looking for ways to deeply understanding their unique challenges.

They’re generally high-functioning and often high-achieving health care professionals themselves, psyvhatrists, psychotherapists, counselors, experiencing hardship as a wife and mother.

Fierce yet fatigued, having triumphed over their own traumas, they are now finding themselves grappling with intricate family dynamics complicated by severely suffering daughters who face complex issues for which no clear solutions seem to exist.due to the profound complexity of their issues.

Shining light on the unexpected blind spots that are difficult to acknowledge due to the profound complexity of their issues, they first and foremost seek to find not so much a therapist as to find knowledge backed by intuition, intelligence and experience. 

People don't need to be saved or rescued. People need knowledge of their own power and how to access it.

True empowerment comes from discovering and using one's innate inner strength on consciousness and healing. rather than relying on external rescue or validation.

• Throughself-reliance and intrinsic power we have the capacity to overcome challenges if we understand and can tap into our own potential.
• teachings on personal development, spiritual growth and understanding the mind-body-soul connection.
• true power emerges when we stop seeking external approval, reinforcing inner sovereignty. 

-copy paste dus aanpassen-

Spiritual living means life becomes easy- everything flows to you, you give up resistance, this creates room to be filled with the good stuff.  

It will still be with you, just handle it with tenderness and care, acknowledge it and comfort it and it won't have to rudely scream for attention, breaking the world you so carefully created.

Patience and perseverence builds cathedrals.

Trusting life’s timing is and essential part of living. To know where we want to go and actually be there alway's a certain amount of time. We need to study for it, or travel to it, or sometimes buy something for it. Likewise with knowing where to nót go or not be and knowing how to handle that.

Answers don’t arrive out of the depth of our being on command. Iron doesn't turn into gold overnight. Rome hasn't been built in one day.

Patience becomes a powerful ally in moments of uncertainty, helping us recognize everything unfolds in its own time. These waiting periods offer opportunities to reflect, realign and recharge. Often, the answers we seek reveal themselves unexpectedly in ways more beautiful than we could have anticipated.

Everything is mourning.

Loss is an inevitable part of life. Whether we lose someone we love, experience betrayal or battle deep depression, we mourn. We grieve for lost love, lost joy, our will to live and the life we once knew. Burnout brings its own mourning —  loss of energy, passion, creativity and restful sleep.  Grieving helps us uncover understanding. 

Happiness isn’t the absence of difficulties - it’s learning how to navigate them.

Life is a journey of highs and lows. Some losses strike with unimaginable intensity. Pain is inevitable, yet we often expect perfection. True healing begins when we embrace reality instead of questioning it. By accepting what is, we create space for healing to quietly unfold and exactly in this space we find our micro small momemts of joy. This give us the strenght to keep going. Though we stumble, the path ahead becomes clearer. Exactly thát is healing.

Pain met with love and patience brings forth  transformation.

Profound grief cannot be rationalized; it must simply be endured. Such losses reflect the depth of our love. When love has nowhere to go, it finds new ways to persist. Grief and growth are intertwined, like mourning and morning; words bound by a shared essence. Every mourning leads to a new morning, tears don’t signify pain alone; they signify healing. They wash over our hearts, clearing space for hope, renewal and new beginnings.

Learning to lean into the unknown.

If we knew upfront every step of the journey laid out by God, the Universe, the moon or our soul’s life plan, we might wish to skip the struggles. But it’s in the nót knowing that we grow. Trusting this journey shapes and builds, it strengthens our ability to handle life’s bigger challenges. Grief, though heavy, becomes the foundation for renewal, revealing a deeper and richer life than ever before.

Awarenes blooms unexpectedly, like a lotus rising. 

GOD IS NOT MEANT TO TAKE OUR BURDEN AWAY LITERALLY

BECAUSE ITS THE BURDEN WE CAME HERE FOR

TO LEARN FROM, OR TO REPENT SOMETHING 

AMD TO BRING THAT WISDOM

BACK WITH US TO SOURCE

SO GOD DOES NOT PROTECT US FROM HARM

OR 'BECAUSE HARM EXISTS GOD CLEARLY DOESNT'

OR BECAUSE WE THE PEOPLE'S OUT OF FREE WILL FUKED UP RELIGION ITS PURPOSE

NO GOD WALKS TOGETHER WITH US

II THESSALONIENS

HE WILL STRENGTHEN US AND HELP PERSEVERE

PAUL TELLS US HE WILL BE THERE WITH US IN THE MIDST OF EVERY EXPERIENCE

AND THUS EVENTUALLY GAIN FROM IT

EXACTLY WHAT WE CAME HERE FOR - FROM THE FIRST PLACE

TRUTH IS, ALL THESE ARE EXAMPLES TO QUIET THE MIND, FINF RELAXATION,  COPING FEARS, CHANGING MINDSETS, EVEN MANIFEST THE THINGS YOU WANT TO PROPEL YOURSELF INTO THE LIFE YOU(!) FIND SATISFYING.

BUT THAT'S NOT HOW IT WORKS. YOU NEED TO APPLY ALL OF THEM SIMULTANEOUSLY.  THAT IS WHAT TRANSFORMATION IS ABOUT. YOU RECIEVE HELP VIA SO MANY CHANNEL, PEOPLE WORDS WHAT YOU HEAR, THE ONE SENTENCE THAT STANDS OUT ON THE RADIO, OR COMMERCIAL, OR WHAT SOMEONE ASKS. EVEN AS SMALL S ONE PERSON TALKING ABOUT ANOTHER ONES WNCOUNTER, GOOD OR BAD, DOESTN MATTER.

SOMETIME THE SUBJECT IS YOUR EGO. YOU FALL ON YOUR KNEES A LOT BY ACCODE T OR YOU GET IN AN ACCIDENT. YOUR WASHER OVERFLOWS, YOU DO NOT HAVE WARM WATER, NO DRAIN, ALL THESE THINGS COOPERATE. 

ITS SOMETHING YOU CAN LERAN BUT!!! MOSTLY YOUHAVE TO LEARN TO DIFFERENTIATE THE GOOD FROM THE BAD, THE SOUL FROM THE EGO, TO BE PURE IN OVSERVATION. UOU HVE TO LEARN TO GET IN TOUCH SO! GOOD! WITH YOUR INNER BEING THAT YOU CAN BE YOUR OWN TEACHTER, COMFORTER, PASTOR AND THERAPIST.

Dhammapda three pathways

Divine consolation is a given and thus recieved, profound, inner experience of peace, joy, and spiritual strength directly from God, often occurring during times of suffering, grief, or spiritual numbness. It's a oowerfull source of encouragement that strengthens faith, hope, and love, drawing the individual closer to the divine while providing comfort. 

Key Aspects of Divine Consolation

Definition & Experience: It is an internal movement of the soul, characterized by an increase in faith, hope, and charity, and a deep, interior joy. It is more than just "feeling good"; it is a profound, sense of peace that persists despite external trials. It puts everything in the light, whilest reality is explicitly dark.

We need not to have faith or be a believer to experience divine consolation. 

Purpose: According to Ignatius of Loyola, it serves to strengthen the individual and draw them toward God. It provides the necessary fortitude to endure difficulties and often inspires a greater desire to do good works.

Biblical Basis: The Bible speaks of God as the "Father of compassion and the God of all comfort" who sustains believers in their trials. Key scriptures include Psalm 34:18 ("The LORD is near to the brokenhearted") and Isaiah 40:1 ("Comfort, comfort My people, says your God").

Distinction from Desolation: While consolation draws one closer to God, spiritual desolation—a time of darkness or fear—is intended to purify and remove inordinate attachments.

Other Contexts: The term also appears in literature, such as in the writings of Angela of Foligno, which focuses on finding solace through union with God and following Christ's path to overcome worldly sorrow.

Related Terms: Spiritual consolation, inner peace, divine comfort, Ignatian discernment, spiritual, religious experience

Awareness

Call to contentment is an invitation to find satisfaction and joy despite our present circumstances, rather than relying on external, material or situational changes to feel happy. It is rooted in trusting God’s provision, as it says so in Buddhist teachings, in The Dhammapada's, in the Veda's and many other teachings and philosophies.

By embracing gratitude we can liberate ourselves from anxiety, comparison and the selfish desire for more, we can lead a more fulfilling feeling thus a better life.

The spiritual training enhances

Divine Satisfaction.

Finding satisfaction in Christ, which empowers us to endure life circumstances with joy, regardless of whether they are positive or negative.

Trusting God's Provision

 Letting go of anxiety and trusting that one's needs are known by God, as stated in Matthew 6:31-33.

Gratitude Over Comparison

Gratitude serves as an antidote to envy, grumbling and coveting. It leads to a grateful heart wich is closely tight to abundance. 'Thank You for everything and enough.'

Acceptance 

As in many traditions, this also means accepting the present moment, being free from the obsession to fix people or situations and recognizing that inner wealth comes from within.

Contentment

Setting goals without letting them destroy one's peace. It is about having a calm, trusting spirit in the middle of life's struggles. 'Go with the slow.'

A call to contentment asks for a shift from a "getter" mindset to a "giver" mindset, focusing on spiritual fulfillment over material accumulation.